Why did I randomly change my mind and come to Uni?

It's almost four am. It's the first night I'm not spending at my boyfriend's house after a month of spending all our time together, I've got a cup of tea half cold in my hands. I start to think. Why am I so unhappy?

The time I spent in Falmouth and at home in Sweden over the summer are some of my happiest memories to date. Pure contentment and living life exactly how I want to. A pure summer of sunshine, lake water, happy people, wellington boots and laughter with people I value and love, all came to an end when I arrived back at home in Bradford-on-Avon. After opening my A level results, I shoved them back in their envelope. What did it matter? Yes they were good, but they weren't going to be used for anything. They lay dormant in the envelope on my kitchen table.

"I didn't realise how miserable you were until I saw how you actually look when you're happy" my boyfriend said to me. I couldn't help but cry. I'm a very emotional person, too much of anything will make me incredibly emotional and hysteric. But I couldn't tell him he was wrong. He knew he was right, and I knew it too.

I soon realised that there was nothing for me at home. I had drifted from a vast majority of people in my life I once considered my closest friends, a few of them who I hadn't were leaving for Uni and the few that remained wanted me to be happy, and I couldn't be.

University has been like being handed a fresh bottle of water after a hike in the dessert for 7 years. After 7 years of very painful, tough and exhausting years, coming to university was like finally seeing sense. I am free to express myself, behave the way I want to, associate with people who make me laugh and smile not cry and question what I think or say.

It gave me the opportunity to start again, realise what it is I want to do and for once in my life really try at something that mattered a lot to me. And that's what I've done, and hope to continue doing.